As Maiden begins to take over from Crone…

Anthony Delanoix via unsplash

Anthony Delanoix via unsplash

Happy Spring!

(Though it may not feel like it for some of us…)In the language of our feminine archetypes, the Crone (winter) is transitioning to the time of Maiden (spring) here in the northern hemisphere where I’m writing from. Most people I speak to about this are happy and excited at the prospect of warmer weather, more outdoor time, and all of that.

I am that person too!
however…

Nature won’t be rushed…

And I think there is huge value in remembering this and taking it on in our own lives. Things are going to take the length of time they need to take. More often than not, I’ve discovered that rushing to make something happen works primarily to increase my stress, sap my joy, tire me out and somehow still not happen as I had hoped and anticipated.

We can’t rush the warmer weather or have it happen sooner than it will. Yet, I hear so much complaining, wishing, yearning over things so far beyond our control. Yes, the Maiden’s energies are to begin with vigour and enthusiasm. She is dynamic and can be a whirlwind. But the Crone isn’t finished with her wisdom yet, so…can we work with these energies in this liminal time to make the very best of it?

I invite you – the next time you are running late or trying to jam in a bunch of things in a limited time period (which is actually our lives, for a lot of us) – try taking a pause and a breath and eliminating the feeling and energy of ‘rush’.

Stop hurrying.

Stop rushing.

There is one thing we can be doing in any one moment – what happens if you can give that one thing your entire attention, complete what needs to be done, and move on to the next thing?

When I remember to do this – take the rush and frazzle out of my consideration and just take things one at a time – I’m usually able to complete more than I thought and I’m left feeling amazed, happy, and energized (versus zapped and tired).

This is some of the Crone’s gifts – the focusing, the slower pace, the wisdom, the presence, and the ease in what we’re doing. There can be some tension present when we wish for her to hurry and leave already as we see the Maiden standing at the doorway whose energies are so different and whose presence we’ve missed over the long months.

Can we stay present to it all as it is and rest assured that everything is well and happening in its proper time and proper way?

May seem too simple but as I was recently reminded:
Simplicity is the ultimate sophistication (Leonardo da Vinci)
Happy Adventures in Springtime Transitions!

 


Formed in Womb…it is still Home

Art: Bridget Nielsen

Art: Bridget Nielsen

One woman spoke at a workshop I was participating in last week about the importance of breath and breathing. Getting into the sweet spot, the zone of bliss.

She described for her this happened when her breath was able to reach deep into her abdomen but actually…below that…into her…lower belly.

She paused as she spoke as though searching for the words and the right location in her body.
My mind, naturally, went to ‘womb.’ You get there by breathing deeply into your womb. That’s what I saw her attempting to describe.

To me it was an illustration of how we collectively lack the language, understanding or appreciation of womb and womb wisdom.

Often when I tell someone I perform ‘womb healing’ what they hear is ‘wound healing.’ Well, there may be some truth to that too but no, it is ‘womb’.

Womb… it’s kind of quaint isn’t it? Poetic to my ears. We could say ‘uterus’ but it doesn’t hold the same energetic quality and does, after all, share an etymology with hysteria. Uterus is a word one might hear in a hospital (never womb) as a hysterectomy is recommended (one of the most common, elective surgeries for women in the USA, Australia and Canada and likely more).

Given that, it isn’t much of a surprise that many women aren’t keen to take ownership much less a level of pride in their womb. It is useful to us if we want to have some babies; a nuisance, or worse, if it pains us during menstruation. Potentially deadly if it holds a threatening dis-ease or dis-function. Let’s just get rid of the fucking thing.

It’s also embarrassing and shameful to many of us, in ways small and large. Having a womb, speaking of it. To many women, having worked hard to ‘make it’ in this world, it is a diminishment of them to speak of something so very feminine, and intimate, in its nature. There’s so much about it we don’t know…

What if before, in spite and through all of the above, we got to connect, understand, commune with ‘Womb.’ (Because I’ll let you in on a little secret too; removing the physical organ doesn’t diminish its energetic presence and power.) We know it’s powerful right? It grows a human being!

And given that we all grew and formed in a ‘womb,’ in a very literal sense, womb is home for us.

What might it be able to do for you, right now, in your life? I mean, aren’t you even curious to know?

Art: Bridget Nielsen


Making Sparks

Art by Autumn Skye Morrison

Art by Autumn Skye Morrison

I had made all sorts of judgments about this man based on his clothes, his stance, his manner of speaking. I discerned in my mind his intelligence, his interests, essentially his value. I had him pegged pretty early and quickly. I didn’t give much thought to whether it was true or not. He was kind of amusing to me from afar and didn’t have much to offer me.

Then on this night when the community was having a party, he came over to stand beside me.

He put his hand on my shoulder and asked me a question.

In those few seconds a lot could have taken hold of my attention but what was most palpable to me were not his actions or his words but rather his energy.

And my response to it

Which was fully

Pulled in and

Drawn to his.

He *felt* fantastic to me. Cat nip. Like if we were to picture or imagine energy as the field around me, every part of it suddenly felt amazing, buzzing and tingling with his. No gaps, no icky feelings, no lack of clarity, no doubts. I just wanted to stand in this and drink it in for as long as it existed. I felt so much pleasure with our energy mixing just standing there.

Given the manner in which my eyes and ears had perceived and discounted him, I was so utterly surprised.

The night before had another man approach me.  Different dude, different energy. He came on to me gently but undeniably. Again, I didn’t expect it but I was curious about the energy thing so I spent some time with him, let him tell me about his life philosophy and ways.

And while we had some laughs and some fun moments, the energy wasn’t quite matching up. He wasn’t quite hitting the mark, I wasn’t losing myself in these moments. Things were coming up a bit short and I was distracted and feeling disappointed that.

It’s all about energy.

If the energy is a match between two people, it creates an unpredictable, delightful magic. And I’ve found it often won’t correspond to what the eyes find pretty and delicious. Maybe this is why so many of us end up unfulfilled. Allowing the eyes to determine the criteria and taking our cues from there, we’ve already potentially cut off our best, most feel-sensational matches.

And it goes the other way too. If we spend significantly more time and effort on our external appearance rather than cultivating, exploring and enjoying our energy then we aren’t going to be attracting our highest matches (whether it’s for pleasure, knowledge, marriage or business)

Like I did with the first dude when I determined I knew exactly what he was all about. Because ultimately what I then was able to discover was how layered, nuanced and interesting he actually is. And moreover, what he had to teach me about myself.

So the moral of the story? If you want to find happiness, delight, knowing, sexual satisfaction work on your energy and presence. It’s a dynamic, ever-flowing, shifting experience of life.

This is what we do here #livingfemininepresence


A New Earth

“The path into the New Earth
is simple.

No guilt.

No shame.

No regrets.

So be it.” *

 

Who would you be if you shed all shame, all guilt, all regret?

What would our world be like if all of us did this… or even attempted such a task?

~ It is worth taking some time to really sit with this and consider and imagine this. ~

I want us to do this, clear away the shame, the guilt, the regret. I can think of no better task, at heart, than this.

Let’s start with shame. Perhaps it is the foundational piece and the toughest one. So much internalized, especially as women. So much conditioning here, stories and belief and shit tossed upon by other people in an effort to manipulate and control. Like there is something wrong with you in the eyes of another.

It is easy to shame another. It is something else entirely to stand up and be good and clear with all you are. Accepting warts and all because none of us is perfect. And we are perfect in this imperfection.

No hiding.

If stopped by shame or anything towards the action we know we should take, we have regret. What does regret feel like to you? For me, it feels like a huge hole, a vacuum that sucks hard from within my spinal channel, like it wants to suck my soul in. It’s a tightening of my heart; a knowledge of opportunity lost that maybe only I know about. And that’s enough.

Regret leads to guilt. I should have stepped up, said something, done something and ….didn’t. Head hangs low. Sick feeling stomach.

This is a vicious circle perpetuated to have kept us prisoner for a long time. And as far as I can see, we don’t have the luxury of being in this gross and unnecessary place any longer.

I filmed the video below this past summer as I began to drop some of the shame I had been carrying for so long. For me, much of it was around my sexuality. I didn’t have any healthy messages around it growing  up. In my house, it was a punishable offense to say the word and I’m not kidding. Spoken and unspoken messages, deeply felt, have a way of worming their way in and settling in places far out of sight and out of awareness. In truth, it’s a deep and ancient conditioning. Parts of me would like to blame my parents but actually they were victims in the same way I was without the means or aptitude to break the pattern.

I won’t be a victim so the choice and time is mine.

No shame.

No regrets.

No guilt.

Speak, shout, declare it all. Stand naked. Be seen. Spill your secrets. Shame can’t exist where there is truth and the strength to stand your ground. If this seems impossible, find the support that will get you there. Every step counts.

Are you with me?

I spoke to a dear friend about this the other day and what she said was she was literally fucking the shame away. That sounds about right.

What will it take for you?

 

*This quote is attributed to a channeling of Mary Magdalen via Tom Kenyon in the book ‘The Magdalen Manuscript.’

Whether you are someone who puts their trust in channels or not, it doesn’t matter. I want you to consider deeply the message itself which has a lot of merit.


On Making Good Choices

Art by Pam Hawkes

Art by Pam Hawkes

I’ve experienced a recent breakthrough in how to make good decisions.

I could (and would) spend a LOT of time agonizing over what choice to make. I’m talking about the big and sometimes not-so-big choices: Should I take this course? Should I move? Should I find another job? Should I end this relationship? Should I call this person? Should I invest in this?

And on and on. Daily we make thousands of choices; some have stated that it is upwards of 35,000 per day. This may seem absurd but when you think about it, we’re making a choice every second of our life. Every breath is kind of a choice…

Fortunately, most are easy or unconscious even so it needn’t all be stressful.

But, what about those big ones? The ones that have ramifications for us for a long time?

I tended to fall back on a rational approach to decision making by weighing the pros and cons of the options. And all too often, this was not that helpful. I would be in the midst, the pros and cons of each path fairly equally weighted and just feel stuck. And stay there, with all  the benefits and risks rolling around in my head, unable to feel good or confident about choosing one over the other.

Can you relate at all?

A recurring pattern for me would be to wait until the last possible moment, or deadline if one existed, and have my hand forced. Choose because I had to now, time’s up. And then bemoan and hold so much doubt over whether it was the right way to go.

Urgh. It’s just not fun (and I want lots of fun and ease in my life).

So, what’s changed?

Well, I’ve reassigned who’s in charge from the mind to the body. See, the body and its cells and its energy has a particular wisdom and knowing. Over many, many years, humans have disconnected from this but it’s still available to us. (as a sidenote, I would point anyone to read the most amazing book ‘Power vs. Force’ by Dr. David Hawkens)

With the big decisions in my life, I have taken to putting them into my body, that is into my lower belly and into my womb space.

I do this by taking the thought, the decision point, all the feelings and energies around it and bring it or imagine it going down into my belly.

Usually, and especially if it’s something that’s been causing me some stress which I haven’t allowed myself to fully feel, it will at first kind of want to bounce out of there. Kind of like holding a buoy under water.

Gently, I will notice this and affirm it’s ok. I’m putting this in here, in my womb to hold. I notice and acknowledge what this feels like in bodily sensations or emotions that may arise. If I go back into my head about it (which is thoughts, anxiety and worry) I gently ease it back into my body and back into my womb space. Staying with my feelings and bodily sensations allows it to stay there in womb.

I don’t expect an answer. This can and often will take some time. I offer gentleness and space. I go about whatever business needs tending to. When I come around to the decision point again, I feel it in my belly and notice how I’m feeling about it now. I notice if anything has opened up or shifted.

It can be quite quick or it can take a bit of time but usually something shifts. There is a kind of fertilizing or marinating or alchemizing that happens – choose your metaphor! The surface calculations and concerns are stripped away and we get closer to the essence of: what is the right thing for me at this time?

And, what wants to happen?

Clarity arises or next action steps to take show up. The vital thing to do is act on the guidance given, and, of course, offer gratitude.

This isn’t easy. Some decisions I’ve had to sit with and nurture for some time and the sensation of holding it in my belly left me quivering and melting. On some occasions, I’ve had to do things that were somewhat intimidating and scary (and absolutely the right thing to do).

Essentially, that’s all I can tell you. Each experience of this is going to be unique. There is no formula but there is a lot of magic, if you allow for it. And if you surrender to trust the body wisdom.

If this sounds strange to you, it is. I get it. And it will take a leap of faith to give it a go (and likely a lot of persistence and patience). Go for it, why not?

And if it makes sense to you, wonderful! Explore all the ways there are to connect to your intuition and guidance – it is always there for you.

And if you’re intrigued but not quite sure what I’m talking about, please be in touch with me. This my life’s work and my passion. I want to help you find your clarity and your joy.

Art: Pam Hawkes


Checking In

Underlay in red by Andrius Kovelinas

‘Underlay in Red’ by Andrius Kovelinas

How often do you drop into your lower belly, your pelvis, your womb space?

Just to check in and see what emotions, what energy you might be holding there?

Often when I’m menstruating and it’s uncomfortable or painful, I’m avoiding it. Can you relate?

I don’t want to feel the pain so I check out in whatever way I can: distractions, groaning & complaining, medicating, and so on.

Often this makes the situation worse. If I can bring my awareness to my womb even and especially when it’s hurting, my experience can change. Have you ever tried to feel the pain and discomfort of something? It’s not usually our approach because it feels awful to feel pain. It can be debilitating. Yet, until we can be in the pain, we can’t actually transform it. We can medicate and numb and this may work in the short-term to have us feel better but it merely masks the root of the problem.

There are other times when I find I’m not in my womb. Being nervous or anxious is always a tip-off that I’m disconnected. And if I clue in and drop into my pelvis, I will typically note what I would describe as a crunchy feeling. Something has been brewing and I haven’t been listening.

And therein is the other thing I notice. If there is some guidance, some wisdom I am avoiding because it means that something in my life has to change. Like I know this but I don’t know this and the frightened part of me wants to keep it that way.

And again, all there is really to do is bring my compassionate awareness to it; remind myself to drop my awareness and my attention inside, be quiet and be with it. Just be.

Because the truth is, it is our space, our wisdom, our intuition. Sometimes having to act on it is scary but it’s actually far, far worse to keep ignoring it.

I’d love to hear from you, what keeps you from accessing your womb space wisdom regularly?

Art: “Underlay in Red” by Andrius Kovelinas


Lineage of Wombs

Womb Wisdom ,Art of Feminine Presence

‘Spiral’ by Neela Haleem

In my first meditation, after my mother passed, I could feel her energy in my body. It was very palpable, this moving…this swirling…the DNA, the lineage alive in every cell.

I thought of how my body had been created in hers. And it made sense to me that I would feel her now in this way. And it brought me such reassurance and peace to have within me, to know (by way of knowing in my body) that she was never going to actually be lost to me.
~~~~~~
Consider these words from Tammy Lynn Kent in her book ‘Wild Feminine’:

“With five small bowls that fit neatly together, one inside the other, I am teaching women about the power of the uterus. The largest bowl fits in the palm of my hand, and the smallest is the size of a pencil eraser. These bowls represent the way that the uterus holds energy and passes information from one generation to another. The women watch my hands as I align the bowls, one by one, according to their size.

I point to the smallest bowl, saying, ‘This is you.’ Slipping this tiny bowl into the next one I say, ‘You were held in your mother’s womb.’ Placing the two bowls together into the next bowl I say, ‘Your mother’s eggs were fully formed while she was held in her mother’s body. In this way, you were also held in your grandmother’s womb.’ I continue to join the bowls together, until the five are sitting in my palm, one inside the other. ‘Because your grandmother carries the energy of her mother’s and grandmother’s wombs, so you are linked to them as well.’ The bowls rest neatly in my hand. The women sit squarely in front of me. I see each of them wrapped in layers of female energy from the women ancestors who came before them.”
~~~~~~
In my culture and many others, the lineage is considered to pass down through the males. The males carry on the family name and were frequently the ones who inherited property or title. This passage from ‘Wild Feminine’ and my own experience of my mother illustrate to me what’s more accurate. The lineage is clearly carried forth through the Womb.

The Womb is a portal.

Have you ever considered your relationship and your connection to your ancestors in this way? Consider also your position and legacy towards all who will come after you.

~~~What messages and wisdom await you in your Womb?~~~

Start by setting aside some private, uninterrupted time for yourself. Light a candle and get settled into a comfortable position. Set an intention and allow any attachments to any particular result or answer to dissipate. Commit to keeping an open and curious mind.

Breathe deeply into your body, grounding and anchoring yourself. Breathe into your pelvis. Allow your breath to become deeper and deeper. Allow yourself time to explore this space with your awareness. Bring your thoughts back when they wander.

Connect to the centre point of your pelvis. Breathe into it and notice what sensations, visions, sounds, ideas, words may come to mind. Keep your mind open to perceive what shows itself but don’t veer into analysis, evaluation or judgment. You may even have a question to ask your Womb. Be patient and be open as you await an answer.

When you feel ready to return, record your impressions in a journal either through words or pictures. Express gratitude for what you were given even if it was ‘nothing’. The feeling of nothing can actually be a great deal of peace. (Be grateful ~ this can’t be overstated)

Make a point to return to this space and this consciousness.* This is a relationship and it needs time and lots of love to cultivate. Return reverently and return often. It may be only after some time and commitment that we make valuable connections and find the magical insights.*

Love & blessings to you on your journey ~ Lana

*It is so powerful to co-create sacred space to explore Womb Wisdom with sisters. If you are feeling called to join in circle, please check out the Art of Feminine Presence. I am in Toronto and offer a weekly meet in the downtown area. For teachers around the globe, click here.