Caravaggios

There were many challenges and hardships, suffering, and loss this year. We’re still in it, of course. This doesn’t magically transform at the change of a date.

I want to offer a gift of 2020; truly, a year when people revealed who they really are.

Even as what I witnessed was often horrifying and heartbreaking, I’m grateful for truth. I’m grateful for vision.

I don’t exclude myself from this. This year I uncovered some of the nastiest, ugliest things about myself that I had been blind to, that I had denied. I searched these parts out, I sat with my grief and pain and shame. I stayed quiet, I stayed within. I tended to what was most important to me. I loved and let myself be loved.

I want to share about what I’ve all uncovered. After taking this year to be silent and listen more, I’m ready now to speak it. Even as I still am in it, uncovering bones in real time.

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I want to tell you, I’ve had really bad years in my life. The first one that came to mind was 1991. Then there was 1987. 2001-2003. Oh and pretty much 2008-2016 (the dark ‘night’ of my soul, I’m afraid that’s how it went for me).

All of the above were worse for me than 2020.  I want you to understand, I know pain. I’ve had lots of it. And they way I’ve learned to get through is to surrender to it.

Surrender to what? The pain.

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It often pained me to see the truth about some people; people with whom I had been close. People who I had esteemed; teachers, friends, lovers.  My anger has been deeply roused.

We really showed ourselves to each other. I hope more of us were looking towards ourselves too, within. If not, I think no worry. Your opportunity is still here.

When people reveal themselves, it’s a good thing to know because it’s just acknowledging what’s so. And that’s the ticket when all is said and done.

This is all …what it is.

It is what it is…and it isn’t what it isn’t.

Can you accept all things as they are right now? (without liking, without approving)

Yes, this is just what it is right now.

Breathe.

Breathe.

And now…let’s go do something.